Today's issue i'm gonna share with you are my finance problems...
i maybe rich in a way when i was working, earning big bucks like a wink..
but now i'm down to a pathetic SGD$400 in the NS as a servicemen..
it really sucks..!

my credit cards, my phonebills, everything keeps accumulating..
i'm so stress with this current problem..
what can i do more in the weekends?
although there's my freelance in Vantage but there of course has political stuff too..

I could be there a whole day, few were my customers from there as i didn't bring my own customers in, they're prices are so unreasonably high for my clients, so i kept them away.. and that they're the slower packs, they work on clients so slowly so i gotta help them, not being paid for that, i'm just being used as a free labour... i'm just wasting my time and not earning you see..

i tried ways like work back on my own freelance - Style-Fusion
but my time now is so restricted by NS.. i'll only disappoint customers when i couldn't make it.. rather to disappoint them, i kept the invites away..

i've cut to the minimal for my expenditure and still of course never enough..

i had a bad bad thought when i was having dinner with my mum just now,
she was pushy for me to save up whereas she thinks i'm still filthy rich before,
i was so frustrated even she couldn't see my situation...

i had a msn friend, we weren't close, just had a few chats, he's one of those with the bods and average looks in reality, but he's photogenic enough, a model, i thought he is kinda cool because there's like a wall in him that i couldn't seems to go further to explore his love life, neither he wants to talk about his lover..
then one night i bumped into him in a club, he doesn't seems happy at all, i wonder why, then i saw his partner, he's partner seems to be over the 40's reaching 50's.. a sugar daddy?
later he flew to US and tour around as i know, i so envy him with all the labels he have and the life he is in now, but afterall he is not happy, come on! who will?! to be with a gramp...

now, i have had alot alot of offers that did brought my mind astray, is this so call quick cash? well, the sacrifice to make is big i know, your happiness for his.. although is easy job making the gramp company and happy ( to give him sex too )
do i really have to resent to 'this'?

ugh...

~Continued another day
afterall, i didn't resent to thee...
couldn't resent to disgust myself..
我还是自爱的